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Say what...Queen Sage

Shocker! I have epilepsy, I've tried acting like it isn't a part of my life, but there are so many reminders that point out that epilepsy and seizures are a part of me and it isn't going away.


The first episode happened during a long and tiring day. I woke up with a crazy headache and some off the wall kaleidoscope vision. When I first opened my eyes I thought I was in heaven until I rolled off the bed and reality slapped me in the face. I crawled my way to the bathroom and hugged the toilet.


While I was editing a story for Lavendar, things felt strange, and once again words couldn't describe the pain inside my head. My emotions were all over the place and at this very moment, my world changed. In the blink of an eye, I became a completely different person.


Many times I've stared into the face of people I didn't know who shout my name. I would take or do anything to get the shouting to stop. As my vision clears, I see my twins (Link and Thanos) faces creeping over the railing staring at me. Their eyes were filled with fear. It broke my heart all I wanted to do was to remove their pain. These are moments when I discover its time for a change.


Over the years and many seizures later I discovered that medication isn't helping and it was time to seek other options... Do you know how odd it is hearing a doctor tell you that they want to cut open your brain and remove parts of it... Say what??? I saw the look on his face like it was something that seemed normal to him, but to me, it was like a whole new fucking world.


In two years I went from playing video games, laughing my ass off while reading nonstop living in magical universes, and falling in love over and over again with characters who take me on journies all-around their amusing worlds to a person who turns the screen off because the colors are so bright my head screams no matter the brightness level or how blurry my eyes get while reading page after page. Instead of concentrating on what I'm reading, I'm wondering when the blurriness will set in.

I sit here now wondering if all of this will end, or if when DR. Sweeny Todd slices my head I will become a cucumber...Lost for words.


-Sage

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